In January, Rockstar Games was putting the final touch on their Playstation 3 release of Episodes from Liberty City.  While some PS3 gamers no doubt have embraced this year old pair of expansions for the good but still quite disappointing Grand Theft Auto IV, many saw Rockstar’s deal for timed exclusivity with Microsoft as a slap in the face of the very users who provided the financial security that Rockstar enjoys today.

When faced with the backlash from PS3 users over the release, due to the fact that it had been released for the Xbox 360 a year earlier, Rockstar claimed that they would be “very good” to PS3 users in 2010.

Well…here we are, it’s going to me mid-June, E3 starts next week, we’re halfway through 2010 AND PLAYSTATION USERS HAVEN’T SEEN FUCKING SHIT FROM ROCKSTAR.

Rockstar…seriously…are you fucking kidding me??  What the fuck is your idea of “being very good” to PS3 users??  You released Episodes from Liberty City.  Is that honestly supposed to fucking mean something to me??  You ported out M$’s sloppy fucking seconds to us A MOTHERFUCKING YEAR AFTER THE FACT, and that’s supposed to be cool??

Is that your idea of “being very good” to PS3 users??  Because quite honestly, you need to fucking do better than that.  Not even 600,000 of those wretched discs have sold, and it’s not because the expansions suck…I hear they’re actually quite good…it’s because Playstation users have collectively lost interest in your stupid bullshit.

Well, you think…maybe there’s something else.  Some huge chunk of awesome that Rockstar is going to drop on PS3 owners that’ll just make them all shit themselves in delight.  Surely something of this nature eludes us…surely the people at Rockstar aren’t all Human Stain Douchebags.  Hmmmm…let’s brainstorm:

Okay…Episodes from Liberty City…nah…if that’s what they meant when they said they’d be very good to PS3 users, then they all need an ass whipping.

It could be Read Dead Redemption…but wait, that’s a multiplatform title.  If that was what they meant when they said they’d be very good to PS3 users, then they’re really telling us that we’re lucky to be getting anything at all, and that would be a BIG problem for the Sony userbase, which Rockstar owes the overwhelming majority of its success to.

So no…it couldn’t be that…was there some PS3 exclusive skin or some shit for RDR??  …because last I checked, PS3 users weren’t getting any timed exclusive DLC for that, either.

Hmmmm…let’s see, there’s the whole L.A. Noire game, which Rockstar says is going to be legendary…but that USED TO BE a Playstation exclusive until Rockstar reneged on that promise as well.  So no, it can’t be that…because that would go back to the whole “Rockstar spitting in the face of the people who made them successful” thing.

Then there’s the whole AGENT game that Rockstar claims it’s developing for Playstation 3 exclusively.  It was supposed to launch THIS YEAR, but they haven’t said anything about it.  Well, you know…with E3 coming up, maybe they…

…oh wait, Rockstar pulled out of E3 and will not show any new games there…so it’s safe to say that AGENT probably won’t release this year and…let’s be honest…chances of it being a PS3 exclusive (and thereby being a game that fully optimizes all of the PS3’s power and capacity for data ala Uncharted 2) are 50-50.

…if it even comes up at all.

There were also the dark horses:  Max Payne 3 is confirmed for Multiplat release this year…perhaps they were holding onto some PS3 exclusive DLC for Max’s next gen debut.

…but then again most gamers don’t fucking give a shit about Max Payne, so no…that doesn’t work either.

Of course, there has been talk that Rockstar could reveal Grand Theft Auto 5 at E3…there’s always the possibility that could be a PS exclusive…

…wrong.  First of all, no way M$ lets that happen.  Secondly, even if M$ wasn’t able to stop such a thing from happening, that’s not “being very good” to PS3 gamers…that’s taking something away from 360 gamers that they have reason to expect to be able to have for themselves…and that’s fucking bullshit, any way you stack it up.

Sure, some PS3 users might get some kind of personal satisfaction out of that, but I absolutely wouldn’t.  Fuck that…that’s just being a cock to the 360 userbase.  That doesn’t do anything good for me personally…that doesn’t bring me some new kind of enjoyment…all that does is piss off Rockstar’s 360 userbase…and shit like that is the reason that Episodes from Liberty City has sold miserably since it became available to PS3 users.

Seriously Rockstar…are you fucking kidding me??  I wouldn’t even give a shit if you wouldn’t have come out and said that you’d do right by the PS3 userbase.  For a moment, it seemed like you knew that you’d turned your back on the people who made you a household name, and you were intent on doing right by those people.

Apparently tho, that was all just a big fucking crock of shit, posted online as a last ditch effort to reach out to people they’ve alienated, right before offering them a second run product that they should’ve been able to buy six months previous at most.

It is in light of this ridiculous fact that I proudly declare that I have NOT bought Episodes from Liberty City, and I will not pay for that particular piece(s) of software.  Again…I’ve heard they’re good, so it’s kind of a shame, but fuck that.  Some people respond favorably when they hear BOHICA, but I don’t.

So yeah, we’ve seen jack fucking shit along the lines of Rockstar “being very good” or really just plain old “good” to PS3 users in 2010, despite their claim to the contrary.  Now Rockstar has pulled out of E3 and will not have any new games there, which suggests any potential PS3 exclusive offerings are most likely not going to become available until fiscal 2011.

So really…Rockstar…Sam Houser…THIS is your fucking idea of “being very good to PS3 users??”

…well yeah fuck your mothers too, then.