Just the other day, Microsoft Studios sacrificed their former creative director Dan Orth to the prevailing public opinion that he’s a fucking douche who needs to drink a tall glass of some Shut The Fuck Up Juice.  At issue was DRM for the “Next Xbox,” which has been purported to employ an Always On feature to validate gameplay.  The very thought of this caused quite a wave of ire and backlash throughout the gaming community…even Bert was pissed when he heard.

Rather than dispel rumor or even at least address the backlash with some degree of tact or diplomacy, Dan Orth (the aforementioned former creative director of Microsoft Studios) took to Twitter with a rather condescending remark on the subject.

 

 

#DealWithIt has since become an internet meme used when someone is acting like a complete and total buffoon in attempt to defend a person or a process that is so fundamentally wrong that its very existence is an affront to common sense and personal dignity.  It’s come to symbolize an industry that has become so bloated and stagnant that it might as well be the zombie at the bottom of Herschel Greene’s well.

 

 

 

Ahhh, irony.  You may or may not know or care that there’s a new generation of consoles set to be released to retail shelves sometime prior to this Christmas shopping season.  Regardless of any of our positions on weather or not a new gen of consoles is necessary or even called for at this point is irrelevant…this is happening.  We’ve heard plenty about PS4 to this point…and I guess Nintendo released a new console, too…but all the noise about Microsoft’s “Next Xbox” is that it’s going to (allegedly) not play used games and have an Always On DRM Lockout.

 

For the unfamiliar, Always On is a form of Digital Rights Management, which is a series of safeguards that software and (now apparently) hardware manufacturers created to protect against piracy.  Always On means your next gen Xbox will always have to have an established and stable broadband connection to the internet to work.  I know many of my friends don’t enjoy online multiplayer games…yet unfortunately if rumors are to be believed, the next gen Xbox will require a continuous high speed connection even to play a single player game.

 

Of course, this means you can’t ever have a power outage, internet outage or simply not have an internet connection if you want to play games on your next gen Xbox…like…at all.  Yes…even if you have no intention of EVER playing your game online in any way…it simply won’t work if your next gen Xbox isn’t logged in online.  And when I say “logged in,” you know that I mean logged in…to Xbox LIVE.  That pesky $60 tax Microsoft imposes on their customers to use the internet that they already pay for.  Given the fact that not only has M$ double dipped their customers’ ISPs for the last ten years, but they INCREASED the price of double dipping by $10 a couple of years ago…it’s safe to assume that you’re going to need to be or to get paid up on your Xbox LIVE Gold…just to have a reason to turn your next gen Xbox on.

 

Naturally, the very idea has made gamers hostile.  The problem with the situation however is that customer hostility and backlash is something very very different for Microsoft and Xbox.  Not to be preachy or judgemental…even tho I’m going to be…but Xbox users are a strange bunch.  Maybe I’m just being an old geezer here, but IMO Microsoft has been the enemy of paying customers since they released Windows 98.  The last time that many anti-trust suits were brought against one company, Standard fucking Oil was broken up and the Rockefeller family went from being Oil Barons to being politicians.  Yet…Xbox users LOOOOOOVE Microsoft.

 

Think about the overall picture of Xbox fanboys.  First, they’re in bed with the devil.  I know, Bobby Kotick is the fucking devil, but ladies and gentlemen if he slips and falls in the shower, Bill fucking Gates will be right there to pick up the torch and take his rightful place in the center of the frozen river of Cocytus.  Microsoft wrote the book on “Money Grubbing Bitches,” then they turned it into an art form.  It’s now a regular show on Broadway.  Bill Gates gives billions away to any charity with a bank account…all to avoid paying taxes…Paul Allen bought the city of Seattle or something…these are guys that were programming spreadsheets before they stole tech from Xerox…they almost literally “pirated” their way to an obscene amount of riches…and despite the fact that they’re bending over backwards to make sure gamers don’t “pirate” them in the same way they did Xerox…for some reason gamers held Microsoft as champions.

 

They pay Microsoft a yearly subscription for Xbox LIVE…which well all know is a ripoff.  They seem contractually obligated to love every game in the Halo series.  THEY EVEN LOVE THE BAN HAMMER!!!!  Seriously…”Major Nelson,” or Larry Hryb as his mom named him, is the guy in charge of enforcing bans on Xbox LIVE.  He has an official, non predatory job title, but he’s basically the ban hammer for M$.  I remember once M$ banned like a million “accounts” in a day and this fucking guy held a press conference gloating about it as if he’d just won the Heavyweight Belt from Muhammad Ali in his prime.

 

But of course…no “accounts” were banned, noooooo.  Microsoft doesn’t ban ACTUAL ACCOUNTS.  They ban CONSOLES that they logged/marked/think were somehow cheating or playing pirated software.  They don’t ban the Xbox LIVE account…and that’s why this prick Hryb was so happy…because by bricking a million Xbox 360s, he knew that he’d pretty much created at least 600,000 new Xbox 360 sales.  Yes.  If you ask my opinion, Microsoft bans people so brazenly (as opposed to Sony, who needs a trial by jury to ban and reset a known cheater) because they know that for every 10 consoles they brick, they’ll sell 6 new ones.  That’s correct…not to digress too far, but Microsoft’s banning policy on Xbox LIVE is little more than a ploy to artificially inflate their sales figures…and Larry Hryb is the man behind this cunning and devious ploy…

 

…AND STILL XBOX FANBOYS LOVE THIS DUDE!?!?!?!?!?  Seriously.  I got no love for narcs, snitches, snake oil slinging scumbags or people who think that they have a right to take other people’s money for nothing…and that’s exactly what Larry Hryb is, that’s exactly what he and Xbox LIVE represent, yet Xbox fanboys love both of them.  They will scream you down about how XBL is the greatest “service” on the planet and “Major Nelson” is the coolest cat this side of Prince.  But I’m not here to talk about XBL or Larry Hryb.

 

This is where we come back to Dan Orth…and it’s also where he AND Microsoft went dead fucking wrong.  By moving to Always On, Microsoft is trying to milk a cow that stopped lactating months ago.  You can’t force people to keep an internet connection if they want to play a single player game.  Some people aren’t rich…they don’t necessarily have 4G cell phones or high speed internet, but they still like to game.  The economy is shit.  The game industry’s economy is even shittier than the global economy.  Studios are getting shuttered weeks before AAA launches that they’ve ground years to produce…some of them, 38 Studios for example, were shuttered before finishing their game, despite ridiculous infusions of millions of dollars.  Gamers want to see the industry pick itself up and adapt to the times, not implode under the weight of its own hubris.

 

Yet despite the crappy economy, Sony and Microsoft are launching their “Next Generation of Consoles” later this year.  Not only is this an ill advised move given the economic realities of the gaming industry in 2013, but games like God Of War Ascension and The Last of Us are launching, and they’re showing off graphics and technical prowess that would indicate that this generation of consoles has not yet reached its full potential, therefore making the launch of the next generation premature and unnecessary.  Quite honestly, all indications are that this next generation of consoles might end in a similar way that the video games crash of the 1980s did.

 

With the potential of this generation still not fully actualized, with the economy in shambles and with people paying less and less money for games no matter how good they are (for examples see THQ and Square Enix), Microsoft somehow has the balls to feel entitled to their money.  After all, they forced them to pay for Xbox LIVE…then they forced all Xbox LIVE users to have high speed broadband connections…then they turned their “Paid Service” into a glorified billboard…then they started banning people like crazy when they realized that 60% of the banned would simply buy a new console.

 

Why shouldn’t Microsoft feel entitled to their customers’ money??  They’ve been fucking Xbox users up the ass since they introduced the damn thing a dozen years ago…why should this next gen be any different??  Xbox LIVE Gold subs for everyone and that internet connection better be high speed and humming or else your nice new $500 Xbox 720 and the $70 game you just bought won’t work.  Deal with it.

 

That is why Dan Orth is no longer with Microsoft.  Orth’s comments themselves aren’t particularly snarky or undignified until you get to the hashtag.  They’re certainly wrong.  In my home between myself, my wife and our three kids, we have laptops, tablets, smartphones, Vitas, 3DSes, PS3s and Xbox 360s…plural.  Those devices are NOT connected to the internet all of the time.  I’m not going to lie…the economy is in the shitter and there were a few months in the last 12 or 24 where the wife and I had to shut down the internet to make sure every end was met that month.  When you have three kids and a mortgage and aren’t part of “The One Percent,” then sometimes those are the sacrifices that you have to make.

 

Orth’s post, while completely stupid and wrong, reflected this sense that Microsoft feels entitled to gamers’ money.  He basically went on Twitter and dared every potential “Next Xbox” user to not buy the next Xbox.  Seriously how does anyone of sound mind in the position that he was in, working for a company that’s ramping up to their biggest, most expensive and most critical product launch in seven years…how the fuck was he THAT FUCKING STUPID to go all condescending on Twitter, telling people #DealWithIt

 

Cliffy B came out and lamented the parting of the ways between Orth and M$, taking care to spell out that Orth wasn’t fired, but had “resigned.”  First of all, Gears Of War wasn’t a good enough game for Cliffy B to have all this goodwill.  Dude is a Twitter Troll the likes of which even Orth probably thinks crosses a line.  How the hell he’s still employed in the indust–oh…wait.  Secondly, I know what people are saying is that he resigned…I however don’t believe that his resignation was anything about which he had a choice.  Microsoft stands to lose it’s fucking ass if the next Xbox goes the way of the Wii U.

 

Seriously think about the history of the Xbox.  The original Xbox sold 24,000,000 units.  Xbox fanboys look at the original as a triumph, but in reality,  Xbox only sold 2 million more units than GameCube, which is widely considered an abject failure.  PS2 of course sold like 150 million units and they’re probably still selling them.  Then the 360 stormed out of the gates a year ahead of PS3 and seemed poised to ultimately beat Playstation…but in the end, PS3′s sales caught up and passed 360.  Sony continued to support the PS3 long after M$ practically abandoned the 360 to work on the next gen, so there’s pretty much no way Microsoft doesn’t come in third place with the final sales tally of this gen.

 

Microsoft has done well for itself, make no mistake, but again…this is the beast that Billy Gates built.  They’re not used to “doing well for themselves” in Seattle, they’re used to owning the game, driving the competition out of business and letting the lawyers handle pesky, unimportant things such as Monopoly accusations, Anti Trust lawsuits, Business Ethics and the like.  Microsoft doesn’t want to “do well” in the next gen, they want to win and win big.  Orth’s comments ignited a firestorm of bad publicity and consumer vitriol the likes of which Microsoft’s gaming division has never seen.  No…I don’t believe for a second that Orth “resigned.”  I’m pretty sure that if he hadn’t “resigned,” they’d have fired him.  In the end, his boneheaded tweet may still cost Microsoft billions of dollars…no way anyone survives THAT shit storm.

 

Anyways, Cliffy B was fairly apologetic and even tried to further Orth’s actual point, concerning the nature of gaming devices and their growing relationship with the internet…but even he admitted that what Orth said was stupid, and it was indeed stupid enough for a guy to lose his job.  And that’s the thing.  Microsoft, Sony, Nintendo, Activision, EA, Ubisoft…they’re not entitled to our money.  They can’t just run some crappy product out there and expect the vulgar masses to lap it up.  Nintendo’s learning that lesson the hard way right now with Wii U.  Third parties can’t seem to abandon the platform fast enough…and with good reason.  Like the Wii before it, the Wii U is not even close to being able to run the same kinds of games with the same kind of graphics and performance as the Sony and Microsoft consoles of the same gen will be able to.

 

Nintendo of course let their hubris cloud their judgement.  They didn’t see the success of the Wii for the lightning in the bottle that it was, they saw it as a license to be as douchey as they wanted to be.  Now the Wii U is a sinking ship.  Orth’s comments were borne out of the same sort of hubris…the same sense of entitlement.  In so doing, he completely failed to have any empathy for his paying customers and pissed almost all of them off.  And all I have to say is:  It’s about fucking time.

 

You can’t be a dick like that on Twitter…especially if you’re going to be counting on customers to dig deep into their pocketbooks for you later on down the line.  You can’t alienate your userbase.  We can hope that this will show Microsoft just how stupid Always On DRM is and maybe encourage them to take steps to eliminate it from their next generation of consoles…but it might honestly be too late for that.  Either way, there’s one less condescending douchebag working for Microsoft Studios, and while that may not be good news for Dan Orth, his family, or the people who own the note on his car and/or house, it’s right that people be held accountable for the words out of their mouth.  Back in my day, there used to be the saying that “You don’t want your mouth to write checks that your ass can’t cash.”

 

Cliffy can lament Orth’s fate all he wants, but the proof is right there on Orth’s Twitter account right now.  Try to find him on Twitter, and you’ll get a message that his Twitter account is now “Protected,” and you have to be a “confirmed follower” to see his tweets.  If this issue was as irrelevant as Cliffy B (and I’m sure Dan Orth) want us to think it is, then why is Orth’s Twitter account now locked??  Why is he now hiding his opinion if he’s on some kind of moral high ground??

 

The answer is simple:  He’s not on some moral high ground.  He’s a fucking idiot who was talking shit when he should’ve probably been listening or at least doing something more productive.  In that way, he’s indicative of the younger generation…a bunch of entitled pussies who’ve been so coddled that they can’t bear the thought of something that might force them out of the precious little box they live in.  Too many of these little shits think that the world owes them a favor…that somehow life has to conform to them.  That’s clearly the way Orth felt about the Next Xbox being an Always On DRM machine.

 

Oh well…while you and I may have what’s referred to as “common sense,” not all people do…and some people have to learn this the hard way.  Fuck ‘em.  That’s what they get.

It’s that special ChrisKwazaukkah time of year, and that means that Activision has a shiny new Call of Duty game on shelves, and a bevvy of extra content to sell you as well.  I for one, am thankful every holiday season for the Christmas noobs, who typically will add a tenth of a point or two to my KDR when they get out from under their stepmother’s Christmas tree.

I realize that it came out a month ago, but a cracker’s got shit to do with his life, so lay the fuck up off me, bro.  Besides, reviews are simply opinions, which are supposed to differ between independent minded people.  Furthermore, I like to give my opinion after I’ve had my way with the game at my leisure…which typically leads to a more enjoyable gaming exprience for me.  Some nametag however had to punch in at 6am the day before launch and have their copy played through and written up before 10 that night, and really who is going to have a pleasant gaming experience when they’re on that kind of deadline??

So where to start?  First of all, I’d like to say that even if Jason West and Vince Zampanella hadn’t been illegally removed from their positions at IW, and even if they hadn’t subsequently poached every dev and coder worth their salt to join them at EA in Respawn, and even if Robert Bowling…well, that guy was just the community manager, so whatevs.

Anywho, after playing Black Ops II, I’d like to offer that even if you go back to the heyday of Infinity Ward’s creativity in working on CoD, Treyarch is the best developer to have worked on a CoD game…and really has been since Black Ops…period.  With Black Ops II, Treyarch continued their commitment to more than just CoD’s competitive multiplayer.  For all the crap the CoD franchise gets for being a multiplayer first game…anyone taking a realistic look at the situation should see that’s something that IW cultivated with their petulantly minimalist half-game Modern Warfare 2 and it’s gimped yet very fun, half-game sequel, Modern Warfare 3.  Don’t get me wrong…I loved the stories to both of them, but really only if you put the two games’ single player campaigns together do you have a proper sequel to the original Modern Warfare.

Treyarch’s CoD entries however, have no such issues.  While World At War’s storyline was the typical CoD hodgepodge of standard FPS missions, with the jumping back and forth between marauding through the South Pacific Keifer Sutherland as Roebuck to skullduggering your way from Stalingrad to Berlin with Gary Oldman as Reznov, you felt connected to the game and the situation.

Then of course, Black Ops famously threw the ridiculous narrative style of the previous CoD games out the window and focused on one person, Alex Mason.  The result was the first truly cinematic Call of Duty in the series.  The single player campaign was absolutely sodden with Cold War awesomeness, mixing some elements of the Manchurian Candidate and conspiracy theory into a twist-filled, bullet-ridden tear through Vietnam, China and the tundra of Mother Russia.  The campaign still jumped from location to location, but the perspective was that of Alex Mason the whole time, which fleshed out the story and made the campaign more than an amalgamation of missions with a cutscene at the end.

Treyarch have also proven themselves the kings of production value.  While IW will hire any schlep off the street to voice the main protagonist of their games, Treyarch always rounds up top notch Hollywood talent.  Sutherland, Oldman, Ed Harris, Sam Worthington, Michael Rooker, Michael Keaton, Sarah Michelle Gellar…for fuck’s sake…ICE CUBE!!  You could argue that the difference between a Hollywood guy and an industry guy is only in the dollar signs, but it’s still a nice, classy touch to bring out recognizable talent for your AAA game that will probably bring in more money this month than the government of Mexico will.

SINGLE PLAYER CAMPAIGN

Black Ops II continues its predecessor’s excellence of narrative, it continues to bring the high spectacle, high tension moments as well as awesome rides in current and future vehicles and weapons tech.  At the same time, Treyarch also adds a richness in soundtrack and ambiance that they’ve really perfected since W@W, creating some of the best atmosphere in gaming.  As a teenager, I owed more than a few nights of drunk, wild sex to the song Closer, so naturally I was thrilled by the soundtrack.  Trent Reznor’s score goes from eerie to sublime throughout the game and shows his evolution as an artist, at times almost channelling Roger Waters and at others hearkening back to Pretty Hate Machine and The Downward Spiral.

And as stated, Treyarch absolutely kills it with the voice acting talent.  Manuel Noriega has some significant screentime, and while Manny was a little too dead to do his voiceover, having both Lt. Col. Oliver North and Gen. David Petraeus make cameos as themselves is pretty insane.  Petraeus in particular has a few scenes, and actually shows a little dramatic flair.  Sam Worthington returns as Alex Mason, and while Ed Harris wasn’t apparently available to reprise his role as Mason’s CIA handler Hudson, no less than Michael fucking Keaton was brought in to fill his shoes.  Also along for the ride are The Walking Dead‘s Michael Rooker, Big Trouble In Little China‘s James Hong (FUCKING ICON, bee tee dubz) as well as pop ups from Jimmy Kimmel and the guys from Avenged Sevenfold.

The campaign of BO2 does jump between playable characters quite a bit, so it is a departure from BO in that respect, however it does this to several different ends.  The main story is a story of revenge, but it’s a revenge plot that plays out over the course of about forty freaking years.  You play as Mason, his son David, his teammate Frank Woods, and a few of their associates, as well as one segment as the antagonist playing out his decades long thirst for retribution.  You almost start to wonder how one person can remain angry at someone for so long.

Well, I’ve beat around the bush for long enough, I should get into talking about the bad guy whose face is so desperately in need of your bullets.   The gentleman we’re talking about is a South American militant named Raul Menedez, who you may or may not have seen in the trailers, looking like he’s straight from a Miami Vice episode.

This is where BO2 creates its own niche, because traditionally, Treyarch has developed very solid protagonists.  Sutherland’s Roebuck, Worthington’s Mason and of course and especially Oldman’s Reznov are protagonists that have resonated with those who’ve played the games.  In BO2, Menendez is the dramatic center.  He’s a great villain, both loathsome and pathetic.  As the game progresses, I came to see Menendez’s motivations, I began to see his personal situations, and in many ways, he endeared himself to me.

Rooker’s character plays a support role, albeit a fairly indespensible one.  Rooker aquits himself with dignity and honor, making his character a rather likeable and capable sidekick.  It’s odd because Rooker’s lines are such that taken by themselves, you would think they were written for your typical, machismo ridden dudebro Space Marine who rocks out with his cock out…but Rooker’s delivery suggests that dudebro has thought about his position and has a logical argument to back it up.  Furthermore, being that his voice is also the voice of Merle Dixon, Rooker’s character Harper comes off as an “Approach with caution” kinda guy.

As a character, Mason’s son David is probably the one that is playable the most, and he’s depicted in a quite bland manner.  Similar to the OpsCom in Zipper Interactive’s ill fated SOCOM 4, David Mason isn’t a deep character, and mainly exists to provide exposition and transition points in the story by stating the obvious in case the players didn’t get the visual depictions for what they are.  There are times when emotional range is actually used and you actually feel empathy for David, but that’s like…twice in the beginning and almost not at all after the halfway point.  He certainly doesn’t take any spotlight away from Menendez, who again should be noted is an excellently portrayed villain, even if he is a tad dramatic…tho it’s an endearing act.

Not so much that I ended up rooting for Menendez, absolutely not.  His actions are deplorable and reprehensible, and before the game is over he will have manipulated the players into doing things he or she will not be proud of.  Throughout the course of the game, the player is given several situations that can be handled differently, some well or bad, some bad or worse.  There will be moral decisions to make…and sometimes logic would have the player take a slightly less human path.

There are multiple endings to the game, and the one I got was semi good, semi bad and SERIOUSLY melodramatic.  As I understand it there are “better” and “worse” endings, and while those are based on certain player decisions as well as certain scenario results, and while this will drive many to replay the campaign (or at least it should), I want to replay it for slightly different reasons.  Sure, I’d like to see all the endings, especially the Happily-Ever-After ending, however some situations evolve in such a way that you feel a need to replay the sequence or the game to get a different result.  I’m not sure if this is curiosity or guilt, but I do have a want to go back and fix some things: and it’s not simply the times where there is a clear decision (like Gears of War’s “Press LT to go left or RT to go right”) to be made, but the triggers often lie in how gracefully you complete the missions.

Saying more would be a spoiler, so I’ll keep that down.  Of course, as you play you get the feeling that the twist is coming, we all know it is, and it’s not long after the first couple of missions that the twist begins to telegraph itself.  It’s not technically a spoiler to mention this, since Activision advised gaming journalists of the plot device of turning America’s military drones against itself, but there’s a couple of issues with this.  First of all, it takes forever to set up, and once you finally get there, it doesn’t significantly add to the campaign.  I geared up over the summer and autumn, thinking I was going to spend 4 to 5 hours doing battle with the allegory of America’s Drones Gone Wild, but most of the game built to that and really there weren’t enough missions that were carried out against the drone backdrop for it to be as effective a literary device as it should’ve been.

Not to get on a soapbox here, but you may or may not be aware that America is (actually, no shit, real life) currently carrying out a number of drone strike campaigns in both Pakistan and Afghanistan, which have killed MANY non combatant civiliains, including scores of women and children.  This may be confusing to some people who thought that since the apprehension and termination of Osama bin Laden in May 2011, American military forces really had no good reason to remain in the region, let alone actively carrying out missions with innocent civilians making up collateral damage, but…surprise!!

Seriously…someone fucking tell Obama to get our soldiers out of there.  With ACTUAL issues in Syria, Iran and maybe even Russia brewing, our military is spread far too thin in areas where we have no business spreading it.  We need our men and women out of unnecessary harm’s way, and as far as I’m concerned, that starts by getting them out of any place that’s name ends with “-stan.”  Rant over.

Well, not quite.  See one of the few but very much the main problems with the story come from the fact that it doesn’t do enough.  At one point, Hunter Killer drones are shown flying over Los Angeles, New York City and Washington DC as well as places like Bejing and Moscow.  Visually, this was probably as powerful as a CoD game has gotten…beyond of course the nuclear detonation in Modern Warfare, which went from shocking turn of events to dime a dozen plot device by the time MW2 came around, but we don’t want to digress too far.  This image is incredibly powerful, and while the game could take the opportunity to explain that THAT is what Americans are doing to major cities in Pakistan and Afghanistan, it kind of glosses over this…to the game’s overall detriment.   It’s mentioned as one of Menendez’s motivations…but it’s not exploited further as a real life issue that demands the attention of the general public…and I think it is and should’ve been.  There.  Rant REALLY over.

It kind of just goes away, though…without divulging too much, the artistic/political/social statement that could’ve been the sharpest and most controversial thing a Call of Duty game has included (including the “No Russian” sequence in MW2) simply didn’t flesh itself out well enough for my liking.  For what it is, however, BO2′s drone storyline is a good if largely underplayed statement on the subject.  The only shame is that because it’s not as controversial as it could’ve/should’ve been, the drone allegory will be forgotten by reviewers and likely completely lost upon the ignorant rabble who no doubt played through the scenarios without so much as a second or even a first thought to the drone campaigns currently going on in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Without becoming too self important, I’d like to go back to the review if that’s okay.  The campaign itself is shorter than typical Treyarch standard; I didn’t have a timer but if I had to guess I’d say it’s maybe 30 min to an hour or so longer than Modern Warfare 3 was…if that.  There are also Strike Missions, which are ancillary mini missions that are playable between main missions.  They dovetail with the narrative, however they’re only available at certain points of the campaign, so gamers may want to play them through as they come up to make sure they avoid missing some.  They aren’t necessary to the development of the plot, but they’re smaller points of a larger story that often involve vehicles and/or tech that isn’t necessarily available in the main missions and some of it is actually pretty fun to try out.

You can also customize your loadout for single player missions, but the first go round you are restricted to only the weapons you’ve unlocked up to the time you play the mission, which does put a damper on the freedom of mission specific, user chosen loadouts.  It is worth noting however, that some missions go easier if you bring the equipment that is recommended.  I found this out the hard way on a mission where I substituted the recommended EMP grenades with Concussion canisters, only to find out halfway through that EMP grenades would’ve made the mission about a hundred times easier.

 

ZOMBIE MODE

 

Treyarch’s Call of Duty games are perhaps just as responsible for the Zombie Renaissance as game franchises like Resident Evil and shows like The Walking Dead have been, and Zombies returns in a more varied and fleshed out form.  The core zombie experience is Tranzit, which features a bus that the playable characters fortify and use to travel between different areas for zombie splattering fun.  Tranzit has the four players “working for” Zombie progenitor Maxis in retaliation for the acts of deranged Nazi scientist Dr. Edward Richtofen in Black Ops.  For those who don’t know:  Richtofen manipulated events throughout the Nazi Zombies campaigns of W@W and BO so that he would end up on the Moon base with Samantha.

However Richtofen and Samantha switch souls and Maxis then leads Samantha and Richtofen’s crew of Takeo, Nikolai and Dempsey through the steps necessary to launch nuclear missles at the Earth from the Moon base…which is where we pick up in BO2.  You have to watch out for lava, as the world has been ravaged by Maxis/Richtofen’s cataclysm and there are open fissures with game ending lava EVERYWHERE.  You build turbines and fans and ride the bus from a 50s era bus station to a deserted town, to a farm and to a central underground military hub (that looks like something Assassin’s Creed’s Abstergo would build).  I haven’t wrapped up any easter eggs just yet, but there’s some serious shit going on here, and by the time the DLC parade is over, BO2′s zombie mode could end up being even crazier than BO’s zombies experience was…and that was fucking epic.

There’s also Survival Mode, where players only play on one map for the duration, and there’s also difficulty settings now for those who simply found previous zombie modes to be a little too tough.  Let’s face it, once you get to round 15 in Black Ops zombies, the wheat seperates itself from the chaff.  Now there’s an easy mode so the chaff can enjoy plugging zombies into deep rounds just like the rest of us who just happen to be legit.  Easter Eggs and fun abound for all, and this time around it’s even easy for the n00bs to have fun.

For those who want a competitive zombie game and were grossly disappointed by Slant Six’s Operation Raccoon City, there is Grief mode, where teams are divvied up between the CDC and CIA.  Players don’t attempt to kill players from other teams, but you don’t do the other team any favors and if you can get yourself out of a sticky situation by taking a course of action that with ends with zombies swarming a member of the opposing team…then all the better for you and your team. Grief and Survival are fun, but once you’ve made a run into the deep rounds on Tranzit, those two modes become less satisfying to play.

 

MULTIPLAYER

 

And finally, we come to multiplayer.  The reason for the season, the value that drives the price of admission, the wind beneath Bobby Kotick’s accountant’s wings…Call of Duty’s online multiplayer component is the driving force behind it’s industry leading sales, marketing and popularity.  Easily the most purchased franchise in console gaming history, I can talk up campaign and zombies all I want, but the dudes who wear flak jackets to midnight releases and consider Doritos and Mountain Dew to be sources of fuel…those guys break out their stepmother’s credit card for the multiplayer, and it’s just as good as ever.

Treyarch changed the loadout system up this year with their Pick 10 system, where you can pick up to ten weapons, attachments, perks or wildcards to outfit your merc with before launching into the chaotic abandon of CoD online.  Reading reviews of the game, most critics have gone on record as being fairly unimpressed by the Pick 10 system implementation, and I’d suggest that they’re all just being a bunch of nitpicking ninnies.  Of course, every time there’s a sequel, gaming journalists and pundits demand improvements to the gameplay, typically in the form of added mechanics and/or useful items that help the games fluency and make it more fun to play than its predecessor.

The problem being that Call of Duty is very much the Gold Standard of online FPSes.  The formula they have in place is the one that’s most popular in the genre, and it works.  Proof can easily be found in the fact that Black Ops 2 sold more games faster than any game ever has at launch, decimating the sales records set by Modern Warfare 3 and selling exponentially more than its actual progenitor, Black Ops.  So then the issue becomes “What to do you improve upon in a game that gets everything so right?”

Clearly, CoD developers have to bring something new to the table without fucking up the reason so many people buy the game in the first place, and unlike every critic who couldn’t see past their own nose, I rather enjoy the Pick 10 system and think it’s a great innovation for the series.  For one thing, you never see the same loadouts on multiple players from one game to the next.  In MW3, most games will feature people using MP7s and ACRs and very little in between for their primaries.  In Black Ops, most players will be using an AK-74u or a FAMAS…bet money on it, although you will run into the occasional AUG H-bar.  In MW2, you’d have to be an idiot or one of those people who rejects simple solutions to not carry around Akimbo 1887s as your secondary.

In Black Ops 2, the sky is the limit.  There’s no one weapon that is most prolific, there’s no one set of perks that is most common.  There’s a lot of mixing and matching going on out there, and it pays to experiment.  I personally recommend the FAL (with Select Fire attached) as the primary and Akimbo B23Rs as your secondary, but the beauty of the system is that you can (and often do) try a multitude of weapons and perks with each other.  You can forego primary and/or secondary weapons all together in favor of more perks, equipment and/or wildcards.  It’s actually very empowering for gamers to truly create their own classes and to stack their loadout in different wasy that capitalize on different aspects of their game.

Personally, I have one class that only has Akimbo B23Rs as my weapon, but has loads of perks like Lightweight, Extreme Conditioning, Flak Jacket, Tactical Mask, and Fast Hands.  I don’t recommend an Akimbo handgun setup on the bigger maps with more wide open areas, but on maps where you’re running from cover to cover or on the smaller, more hectic maps like Hijacked, I can flat out dominate that way.

Also I should mention the kill mic.  Some of you may have noticed last year that when you killed someone who had a mic on, you could hear them whine about it.  Apparently now, when you kill someone you can hear them and they can hear you.  I found this out on Standoff when I had my Akimbo B23Rs out, I was shooting with this guy and I got him.  As I had been shooting, I was saying into my mic, “Yeah, that’s right…come get your ass whippin.”  When he died, I kept talking and this is what I heard from my vic:  “Oh that’s bullshh–HEY FUCK YO–” and then it cut off.  It’s always fun to hear my vics cry about getting pwned…now I can share my trash talking too.  MARVELOUS.

The maps are great again…which is a Treyarch deal through and through.  I realized with MW3′s disappointing launch maps just how great Treyarch is at crafting fun maps for online gameplay, and they’re back at it in Black Ops 2.  There are maps with long views, sniper alleys, close quarter areas, debris good for camping and all other kinds of fun.  My favorite map so far is Hijacked, which is a depiction of a Yacht on the high seas, but locations such as the Port of Singapore, wealthy Indian shopping areas as well as bombed out versions of Los Angeles and military installations make for cool and exciting backdrops.

There is a LOT of camping in this game, but the many different modes available for gameplay should help with that.  Party games are back, which you may remember as Wager games from Black Ops.  Sticks and Stones returns in that format, so I’m very very pleased.  Nuketown also received an update and in addition to being “turned on” for “events” that Treyarch will have online over the next year, the Chaos mode has been added, which is supposed to be a randomized mashup of all smaller maps and varying game modes, but it features Nuketown 2025 fairly prominently in the randomization.

Overall, I’d have to say that this is a great fucking game.  My friends and I are going to have great fun on both zombies and multiplayer over the course of the next year or two, and I can replay the campaign a couple of different times and different ways to see how many different endings I can come up with.  The game’s narrative is at times powerful, and at other times not nearly as powerful as it should be, but in staying mild, the game never gets preachy or too judgemental.  The twists are telegraphed, some incredibly so, some not so much, but overall the narrative is interesting and fun, and the decisions and methods you use have a real impact on the game that will give different users different experiences.

In the end, the single player is never too tough to beat, but it’s never a walk in the park, either.  The campaign is somewhat short, but the dramatic and emotional content make it one of the most memorable of the entire CoD franchise.  The online is back with a vengance, and the customizability that comes with Treyarch’s new Pick 10 system puts the game up there with the best online shooter experiences available to console gamers today.  Zombies mode brings the pain as well as adding a new wrinkle of its own to the tale of the war between Richtofen and Maxis, and set amidst this manmade apocalypse, Tranzit helps take the zombies mode into what should turn out to be a completely awesome new direction.

The game isn’t perfect, but I must reiterate that it IS fucking great and has probably the best single player campaign in the Call of Duty franchise yet.  However, there isn’t enough of the campaign for my taste and while the Tranzit/zombies mode offers enough story and easter egg goodness for people who are willing to look the info up and move with it, the mode isn’t accessible enough for the casual zombie shooting fanatic to ever get the same kind of entertainment value out of it that the Easter Egg Hunters will.

Call of Duty Black Ops 2 gets an 8 out of 10.  Please understand, though…I don’t do that 8.5 shit, I typically round down to avoid sounding like a fanboy…but this is a great game, and three to five more missions against the backdrop of the hijacked drones would’ve made this game an easy 9 out of 10 and legit Game of the Year contender.  Treyarch continues to kill it with their entries into the Call of Duty franchise, while truly telling the CoD story with their own unique voice…both with the campaign and the zombies mode.  If you’re an FPS fan or a fan of military shooters, this needs to eventually find its way into your library.

The Playstation Vita has been treated like a red headed stepchild in the media, particularly at sites that can only seem to drive traffic their way with anti-Sony vitriol, but also in the marketplace…where gamers have been hesitant to adopt the platform, due in no small part to the lack of AAA games and/or apps for the device.  The late fall/holiday season of 2012 was supposed to change that, with (among other things) Assassin’s Creed III: Liberation and Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified both scheduled to release for the handheld at that time.

Call of Duty, like the Playstation Vita (and seemingly any Sony exclusive product these days), is also most often ridiculed in the media.  Reviewers use phrases like “Copy and paste,” “Whack-a-mole” and “tacked on single player” to describe CoD, however unlike the Vita, Call of Duty rakes in the dough.  Just today Activision announced that Black Ops 2 sold over half a billion dollars’ worth in its first 24 hours on shelves.  That’s good enough to break the record that Modern Warfare 3 set last year and more than twice what sales juggernaut Halo 4 brought in in it’s first 24.

Liberation generated good buzz for the handheld, but it was Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified that was supposed to put it over the top.  Activision’s megalithic military shooter franchise was supposed to spawn that ever elusive Killer App, which in turn would also spark sales of the controversial handheld.  Luckily for Sony AND Activision, the media’s portrayal or reviews of CoD games typically has no bearing whatsoever on the games’ performance at market.

I say that mainly because predictably enough, Black Ops Declassified’s early returns have brought scathing reviews, with Game Informer going so far as to call it an embarassment to the franchise.  Reviews that I’ve read all speak of a single player campaign that can be beaten in under an hour and multiplayer that simply does not work.  As a Vita owner who unapologetically loves the Call of Duty franchise, I’ve spent some time perusing the online reviews and have found something quite odd.

Following every online review I’ve read of Declassified, multiple user comments have been left, calling Bullshit.  Users report the single player campaign being short but not less than an hour short, and the comments from users regarding online multiplayer suggest that not only does Black Ops Declassified’s multiplayer work, but that it’s actually very good.

Here are some user comments that I’ve pulled from a couple of different sites:

These are from Playstation Vita Hub, so please excuse grammatical errors, as I did not wish to paraphrase these users’ comments.

“I seriously don’t get this.  I haven’t touched single player yet because multiplayer has been so fun…Even if single player is total crap, I’ll still feel good about my purchase.”

“I for the life of me can’t figure how they can improve on Resistance BS in every way possible and it still gets rated lower.  I think these reviewers r full of crap and r probably playing the game right now.  I know I can’t put it down.”

…and my favorite:

“they are pussies i have the game.  the campaign is short like 3-4 hours…but the MP its like a console experience nothing at all boring super addictive…”

And that’s just one site.  Every other site that I’ve read a review on has multiple unique users calling the review bullshit and claiming the game is awesome.

So…is Black Ops Declassified a pile of monkey crap??  If you believe the people who have played video games 8 hours a day for the past few years…not because they want to, but because it’s their job…then yes, it’s a broken, embarassment of a game that has a broken multiplayer component and a single player campaign that you’ll miss if you blink.

However, if you believe the users…the people who bought the game not out of obligation, but because they like to play games…then the reviewers are all full of shit and the game is awesome.  Personally, I don’t know.  I haven’t bought the game yet and probably won’t for at least a couple of weeks.  What I do know is this:

Game reviews have become an interesting animal.  Not everyone is going to have the same opinion, so it stands to reason that a game that one reviewer likes very much could at the same time seem tedious and boring to a different reviewer.  However some time ago, many reviewers found that giving AAA games a poor rating (regardless of the game’s merit) will drive new unique traffic to thier site…and we all know that average daily unique hits are the rubric by which internet advertising dollars are paid out.

Now, I’m not suggesting that the reason for these bad reviews is solely placed on reviewers being trolls or that Sony or Activision’s check bounced, but what I am saying is that game reviews, particularly those posted to “tech” or “gamer” sites have become increasingly disparate over the years with the sentiments of the users.  In all honesty, I can understand.  I play games that I want to play, and I play them because I want to play them.  Guys who write for tech sites or gamer sites play games because it’s their job.

Adam Sessler, who many of you may remember from his groundbreaking time with Tech TV, left G4 this past April.  He recently joined Rev3games.com as editor in chief, and released a video about his return to gaming journalism.  He mentioned that in the six months or so that he’s been unemployed, he had the luxury of playing games that he wanted to play, when he wanted to play them.  In hearing that, I couldn’t help but infer that gaming journalism is a job, and is just as much (if not more) of a grind as any other desk job is.

So tech writers and gaming writers may very well love their jobs, and they may very well prefer their current position to jobs like “Customer Service” or “Data Entry,” but the fact remains that it’s still their job.  They still have to wake up when they’d rather sleep, put up with employees they find annoying and deal with a boss who also annoys them.  To you or I, it may seem like a case of living the dream, but it can’t be that great to come in to the office Monday morning and hear things like:  “Good morning.  I need you to get through enough of the latest Ace Attorney game so that you can have a full review in the can by tomorrow morning.”

For myself, I hate RPGs.  Can’t stand them.  I’ve been a Star Wars fanboy ever since I can remember.  I like to quantify my fanboyism by telling people “I’m not even mad at the prequels.”  Yet, for some reason, I absolutely hated Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic.  Why, you ask??  Because of its ridiculous, fun-killing RPG elements.  The constant looting, turn based combat, choosing dialogue lines and playing a personality despite the fact that those choices have almost no effect on the result of the game whatsoever.  If I were to get a call that sounded like: “Hey Glue…need you to play Persona 4 through to completion.  Include enough online to give a comprehensive review of the game.  Then I need your review by tomorrow morning,” then that would pretty much ruin my day.

So I’m guessing writers get just as jaded as the next guy, and that it affects their disposition toward games (and gamers).  What this means is that when you read a bad review, you may not be reading about a bad game, per se…rather you may just be reading about a bitter, bitter person who hates his/her job and has decided to take that anger and hatred out on the only people he/she can…the game developers who make the games that have ruined so many of his/her workdays.

There was a point in all this, but I think I touched on it a long time ago.  I don’t know.  We’ll definitely have to see.  Reviewers have been less and less “pleased” with the CoD console entries since Modern Warfare 2, but CoD breaks it’s own sales record every year.  Maybe this will be the game to finally get the Vita on the road to legitimacy.

I don’t know.  I already have my Vita…I’ll probably make Declassified my Christmas gift to myself.  Maybe others will, too.  For now, I’ll just go play some Black Ops 2 zombies and jerk off, I guess.

Powerhouse Activision developer Treyarch put a lot of effort into the single player campaign for Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.  Sam Worthington was brought back to reprise his role as Alex Mason, Michael Rooker (who you may remember from The Walking Dead, Call of the Dead or Mallrats) also joined the cast, as well as Tony Todd, the immortal James Hong (David Lo Pan and fuck you if you don’t know who that is) and they brought in Trent Reznor to score the game.

That Activision money came out in spades, and Reznor even seems to be channelling late 70s/early 80s Roger Waters at times.  Despite this, and despite the fact that I was home by 12:35am Tuesday morning with my game in hand, I still haven’t played the Campaign yet.  I’ll hit it tomorrow, or really later today…because I’m off tomorrow, but I have some very definite thoughts about what I’ve played thusfar.

Yes, Black Ops 2 teabags your mom.  It’s that good…if you like CoD.  If you don’t like FPSes or you’re just way too cool to admit to liking CoD on the internet, then that’s beautiful.  Just know this…this is not the “same old CoD” that you’re used to.  It’s still a first person shooter with the framerate and control scheme that was, is and continues to be the Gold Standard in FPS console gaming…but aside from that, shit is ALL KINDS OF different this year.

And just as a side note, I love how people love to hate on CoD for being “the same,” yet they talk about Halo 4 as if they’re giving themselves a handjob at the same time.  Anyway…I don’t want to digress too much…

Multiplayer is totally jacked.  Your loadouts are customizable to the point of ridiculousness; with the ability to exchange secondary weapons, attachments and other items to add additional perks to the three that you already have…the scorestreaks include some awesome rewards for running it up (Hunter Killer FTMFW) and you could probably spend an hour or two just setting up your five custom classes.

Zombies has been completely reworked with Tranzit and Campaign, and while certain changes weren’t quite so welcome (lava adds challenge but becomes more annoying than anything), other things are (some maps start with power on and all perk machines/Pack A Punch rearing and ready to go).  I’m still trying to get a grip on it, as it’s not quite the as linear as Black Ops’ zombies are…once I was on a bus and another time, there was no bus at all.

I haven’t played the single player campaign yet, but when I do, you can be damn sure I’ll have things to say about it, as well as tips and shit.  I kinda slacked on that with Modern Warfare 3…my bad.

Until then, happy merc’n, bitches.

My oldest son has been breaking my fucking balls about purchasing Elite for CoD since MW3 dropped.  Of course, you may recall my “Fuck Elite” rally call or my disdain at PS3 Elite Subscribers still having to wait a month for their DLC despite being charged the same amount that 360 Elite Subscribers are.

Well, little has changed…I still haven’t purchased DLC for MW3 on either console platform, and I still haven’t purchased Elite or even used the “free” portion of the Elite application.  BUT…with Black Ops 2 coming, it occurred to me that if I purchased Elite in September, I could d/l all the MW3 DLC AND I’d be able to nab the Black Ops 2 DLC without having to fork over the extra money.

I was all set and ready to go to buy Elite last month…and it’s a good thing that I chose not to, because there’s no way that Activision was going to get caught giving stuff away for free.

IGN is reporting that when Black Ops 2 drops, Elite will be made a totally free service and they will go to the Season Pass model of leeching more money from customers that had been so fortuitously pioneered by Epic Games with the release of Gears Of War 3.

Of course.  Like I said, there’s no way Activision would be caught dead giving anything away, despite the fact that they are the gaming industry’s equivalent of a “One Percenter” who makes a billion dollars a year and pays no taxes.  But what’s more is how Activision habitually underestimates and insults the collective intelligence of the CoD fanbase.

Okay, okay…if you’ve ever put a mic on while playing CoD, then you know that most CoD regulars are a raging mix of ignorance and stupidity, and you’ve probably had a chuckle or two at hearing their moms yell at them in the background about what pathetic losers they are.  But the fact is that while the huddled masses in CoD lobbies are stupid…I am not.  Most of my friends who play CoD are not stupid.  Activision however operates on the assumption that we all are.

See, when Elite was coming out, the company line from Activision douchebags like Bobby Kotick and Dan Amrich was that Elite represented a significant intellectual and physical investment by Activision and couldn’t be made available without charge.  I disagreed at the time, being that better, more balanced games that utilized more modern tech (like Killzone and Halo) had social networking stat tracker sites/apps that are nearly identical to the Elite app (if not better) that Guerrilla and Bungie respectively offered to their users for free.

Not that it should be a shock to anyone, but I was right:  Activision was flat out lying…misrepresenting their product to their potential customer base for the purpose of getting more of their money.

The people I feel sorry for are the people who don’t have MW3 but may have bought Elite in preparation for Black Ops 2.  Yes, there are people who only by Treyarch’s CoD titles, and it usually revolves around their use of the Zombies mode.  Sure, MW3 added a Survival Mode, but anyone who has tried it knows it’s just trite filler that is boring, repetitive, simple, overly easy and lacks the creativity and soul of Treyarch’s Zombies.

I’m sure there’s not many people who fall into that category, but there are some, and Activision just stuck their money grubbing cock up their asses…which is really the only thing they’ve ever wanted to do.

So yeah…I was right about Elite.

Fuck Activision, fuck Kotick, fuck Amrich, fuck Elite and fuck anyone who has a problem with that.

Finally EA has made a game that has caused me to forget and neglect my copy of Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 3.  EA’s reboot of the PS2 classic SSX is fucking phenomenal…and while it’s not absolutely perfect, it’s more SSX3 than SSX On Tour.  But that’s like saying a rapper’s more Jay-Z than NaS.

So EA dropped the SSX reboot on February 28th.  I have it and I’m here to tell you that it’s the absolute fucking biz.  Before I go further, please allow me to take a moment to further appease any long time, hardcore SSX fans who are still cringing at the Deadly Descent trailer shown at E3 all those years ago…

It’s okay to breathe, guys.  If you’re looking for my qualifications, then here:  1- Tokyo Megaplex 2- Untracked 3- Pipedream.

This game is just as awesome as any SSX, and when you look at the overall picture, it’s pretty much SSX3 on a lot of steroids…with new maps.

The trick system…has been revamped.  There is a “Classic” control setting, but I’m pretty sure it’s the control map from the original SSX, because the higher functions like spinning on grind rails (D Pad) and nose/tail presses (R3 button in SSX3 and On Tour) do not work.  In that sense, it is a shame because the control scheme for SSX3 and SSX On Tour was really absolutely perfect, and if there’s one area of the game that absolutely positively DIDN’T need to change one single iota, that was it.

Despite turning its back on probably the most intuitive controller design of the previous generation, the control revamp works well, but this is both a blessing and a curse.  It’s much easier and more intuitive now to mix up your tricks as you’re pulling them.  You can gain more diversity and the game is quite forgiving with regard to the ratio of time between the moment you pull out of a trick and the moment your board touches the powder…

…buy in all honesty…it’s a little TOO forgiving.  If there’s one complaint to the game, it’s that unless you’re on a survival run, it’s damn near impossible to wipe out while tricking.  At least, it is on the first couple of mountain ranges you play.  As you level up your character and gear, the ratio I was speaking of gets smaller and smaller, and the game gets less and less tolerant of the player’s greed while pulling massive tricks.

That said, this game flies higher than an SSX has ever flown before.  You’ll run into sections of maps that are dead on exact copies of maps from SSX3 and On Tour.  At the end of one run, there is the “Roofs and Cables” grinding section from the end of Ruthless Ridge on SSX3.  There’s another area of this game where you carve up the giant frozen dam from On Tour.

At the same time, the CG scenes where they introduce you to new mountains in World Tour remind me of the map intros from EA Sports BIG’s Sled Storm offering for the PS2.  Overall, and it might just be coincidental in some spots, but this game feels very much like the excellent offerings from EA Sports BIG on the previous generation.  It’s not just SSX games but also games like Sled Storm, Shox and Freekstyle.

Real quick, yeah…EA Sports BIG, which I guess became EA Canada or whatever…yeah they were the best developers ever.  Best action sports game with the SSX series, best sports game with NBA Street, Best fighting game with Fight For NY…just top notch stuff all around.

Getting back to the game itself…yes, it was a little disappointing when I realized how forgiving the game is when you land…but when you take the game online, that’s when you realize how much more difficult everything is WITH the new system.  Confused?  I’ll explain.

SSX uses EA’s RiderNet as its multiplayer function.  I hear it’s been used in the last couple of Need For Speed titles…but I haven’t played an NFS game since Hot Pursuit on the PS1.  Anywho, basically what happens is that every peak that you run in SP is available to run in MP.  The runs are still Race, Trick and Survive, and the heats are left open for a period of time.  Some heats are open for 30 minutes, some for 2 days, some for a week.

When you finish a run, your score will be tabulated and you’ll be placed into a winner’s bracket…assuming you’ve scored high enough.  There are five brackets: Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum and Diamond.  The lower your bracket, the more people fit in there.  I think like 8 people will make the Bronze bracket, six will make Silver, and so on.  As other riders register higher scores than yours, you can be bumped down a bracket or even out of the winner’s brackets all together.

And THIS is where you realize that the forgiving nature of the landings in this game really aren’t that big a deal…because the scores that get thrown up on RiderNet are FUCKING INSANE.

I remember the first time I dropped a million on one run in SSX Tricky.  It was on Elysium Alps with JP and I felt like I was the man…a fucking Mountain God, set to rock out with my cock out.  Well, on day one of RiderNet, I jumped into a weeklong heat and threw down 18 million on the course.  Eighteen Mother Fucking Million Points.  On one run.

Yeah, that was only good enough to get me into the SILVER bracket…but then when I logged on Monday morning, my score had been kicked out of the winner’s bracket all together.  As of Monday afternoon, if you wanted into the winner’s bracket on any level you needed AT LEAST 23 million points.

So yeah…the game may seem easier…that’s because you’re stuck on the pussy ass single player.

RiderNet is awesome.  If you have winnings due from heats that close while you’re offline, the next time you log into RiderNet, you will be notified of which heats ended and how many points you got paid out.  You find yourself constantly rechecking your scores in open heats to make sure that you haven’t been bumped from your bracket.  If you were bumped down a bracket or if you’ve been bumped all together, then it’s time to grab your ice axe and hit the slopes to defend your honor.

Unfortunately, there’s no “party” or “chat” function in SSX’s multiplayer, so there’s no way to hit one slope with a bunch of your friends at the same time.  Given that some people shoot through a mountain while it may take others longer to finish, I’m not really sure how party or chat functions could be implemented without ruining the slick vibe and ease of operation.

There’s no matchmaking or anything, and if the online functionality were to include parties or chat, it’d probably have to go to a matchmaking system where the run starts at the same time for everyone, and that would just fucking ruin it.  In game chat might be nice, so you can just chat with any friends who might be playing at the same time you are, but I’m also unsure how realistic an expectation that would be.

The benefits, however…are that you never have to wait for a lobby to fill or for others in your lobby to Green Up just to get going.  You hit the slopes that you want, when you want.  When you’re done with one run, you just move on to the other at your pace.  If you want to smoke a bowl or take a shit between runs, you are all set.  Just put your controller down and handle your business.

 

You also don’t have to deal with lag.  See personally, I switched from crapass DSL because I got sick of the lag and dropped signal.  So I switched to cable internet; the best residential internet connection that money can buy in my city…and the biggest difference I noticed was how incredibly fucking crappy everyone else’s connection is.

Well for those of you that pay more money to have a tighter connection…RiderNet rewards where other games (especially ones that use P2P servers because the dev is either A) Broke as hell or B) The fucking devil) punish.  That’s right…you slobs out there with your shitty ass bobo DSL connection will no longer have the advantage over those of us who pay good money for a stable connection.

Another benefit…and most of you have probably already gone over this in your mind…you don’t have to listen to fucktarded ten year olds drooling into their stepmom’s bluetooth headset while she bangs the mailman.  No longer will chumps from the bottom of the scoreboard bombard those of us at the top of it with the typical barrage of “you suck” bullets and “your mom” resets.  No sir, you play in peace.

Overall, SSX is a rewarding game that retains most of what made the previous games incredible while updating the controls to be more reflective of how games are played this generation.  It’s not quite as slick as SSX3 but it’s bigger and more extreme than all of the previous SSX games combined.  The runs are still death defying and the action remains light and over the top.

The graphics aren’t really that great.  Honestly I’d say they’re fair to midland for a multiplatinum release…but we don’t buy SSX so that we can oogle at an individual snowflake as it floats past.  We buy SSX so we can turn a mountain into our personal bitch…and SSX delivers that in absolute spades.  Beyond that, RiderNet gives SSX a level of replay value that’s on the level of games like Call Of Duty and Halo…that is to say A LOT.

SSX gets a 9 out of 10.  That score (while not the lowest given to the game) may be colored by my love of the SSX series as a whole, but the game itself does not disappoint in any significant regard.  Racing is slick, the interface is intuitive, there are few if any bugs or glitches and it’s got the most addicting multiplayer that I’ve ever encountered.

If you like the action sports genre on any level or if you’re a fan of the Tony Hawk or Skate franchises, then SSX has earned a spot in your collection.

By the way, on both XBL and PSN I’m TheGlue29 and if any of you punks think you can hang with this, then shoot me a friend request, hit up RiderNet and meet me out there…cuz it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Hi, my name is The Glue and I’m a CoDaholic.  I have both a 360 and PS3 and I have EVERY CoD since Cod4.  I’ve easily spent hundreds of dollars on DLC for BOTH systems and who knows how many days I’ve sunk into the game…it’s a few.

I’ve enjoyed the single player campaigns immensely despite their brevity.  I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed the co op features in the IW games, the zombies and wager modes in the Treyarch games and the competitive multiplayer options in all of them.  For some reason tho, I held off on getting Elite.

I’m primarily a PS3 gamer, and while the early release of DLC has helped me before (learn the maps on XBL…own the n00bs who haven’t played them when it drops on PSN), I just couldn’t reconcile another $50 for Elite while knowing that I’d still get my DLC a month late.

PS3 Elite users who didn’t take that into account are finding out about that just now, and they’ve unleashed a torrent of eRage on Activision for never overtly saying that PS3 Elite users would still get their DLC a month late.

They’ve got a point, too.  In the CoD Elite Founders Booklet, on page 7 it specifically says:  “Love map packs, but hate the wait?  That ends now with Call Of Duty Elite.”

This was taken from the Elite booklet that was included with a friend’s purchase of the PS3 MW3 Hardened Edition.  While I’m sure there’s enough plausable deniability for Activision to deflect any legit claims of false advertising or bait and switch…they still told PS3 Elite users in writing that “the wait” for map packs “ends now with Call Of Duty Elite.”

Now I knew this was coming, which is why I never bought into (or bought) Elite in the first place.  I also realized that there would indeed be a backlash against Activision from the PS3 Elite Users who actually thought they’d get their DLC on time.

What I didn’t see coming was Activision setting some in house douchebag blogger out to give the finger to said PS3 Elite Users…which is pretty much what they did.

For those among us who can’t be bothered to click a link…I’m one of you, so don’t take that as an insult…I’ll basically grossly paraphrase it.  That link goes to a blog called One Of Swords, and is for Dan something or other, who works at Activision…in some capacity or other.

Dan basically goes on his blog and says in a thinly veiled way that the PS3 Elite users who have been complaining about not getting their DLC at the same time as 360 Elite users are idiots for thinking that they would and should shut up and stop bothering him.

He then posted a second, less trite entry in which he tries to say he didn’t mean to be a douchebag…leaving me to assume that he’s just naturally…a douchebag.

It reminds me of the time that PS3 users were complaining about some other aspect of a CoD game (pretty sure it was MW2) and the Activision fucknut that was chatting with them got bitchy and went to the “Activision can always turn off the PS3 servers for any reason” retort.

Again…I have both systems, but I’m primarily a PS3 gamer.  And I’m not gonna lie…I play CoD…a lot…I like CoD…it’s quick fun, I have a lot of friends who play and I’m fairly good at it.

But I don’t like being told to fuck off, and that douchebag Dan whatsisname from Activision’s department of whatever just told a large portion of the PS3 community to fuck off.  And for whatever reason…it’s not the first time this kind of bullshit has been levelled at PS3 gamers by Activision.

Now I realize that this will have next to no effect on Activision’s bottom line, and it may not even qualify as a speedbump to those corporate cockmasters, but I’m an American living in a free market, and while I’ve never shied away from speaking out with my voice or a keyboard, I also like to speak with my money.

And I look forward to all that DLC they have planned to drop so that I can officially say “Fuck you, Activision” by withholding any purchase of Activision products going forward.

So yeah, no Elite and no DLC on either system.  I might still play zombies, but after the DLC drops for MW3 on PS3, I’ll probably stop playing CoD all together.  I hope IW and Treyarch continue to make the games they want to make, and personally I’ve always liked Treyarch, dating back to their Spider Man games the previous gen…

…but fuck that.  I’m out.  Fuck you Activision…more importantly, fuck you Dan…and your gay ass blog.  Seriously…how fucking gay is that name??  ”One of Swords,” you fuckin pantywaist bitch.  Blog like you’ve got a cock.

Really Dan…I mean it. Fuck you. And everyone who lives in your house. Your momma ain’t shit.

As I’m sure is the case with the 2 million + people who are playing it at any given time throughout any given day, there are things that I love about Call Of Duty, and there are things that I hate about Call Of Duty.  Due to my dissatisfaction with the status of updates for DLC/Elite for PSN users, I’ve decided that once the DLC drops, I’m officially retiring from regular CoD online play.

That’s right…you punkass n00bs who camp, quickscope or jump around like you’re some gay fucking ballerina, thinking that your weak ass maneuvers will somehow allow you to overcome the Mastodon of Awesome that is myself…sometime in late February, y’all will be able to breathe a little easier, because I won’t be there every night to pwn your worthless bitch asses.

But I’m not here to talk about how much better I am than most everyone else on CoD.  No.  I’m here to talk about the game I’m leaving, and I’m going to be as honest and upfront as possible.  Yes, I rated MW3 a 9 out of 10…but that wasn’t to say it was perfect.  Shit…I gave God Of War III and Uncharted 3 10 out of 10, and despite both games very much earning those scores, I still say that neither is “perfect.”

No, as for everything and everyone in life, with greatness also comes flaws, and that’s what I’m going to talk about here.  My love and my hate for CoD.

I love the constant action, monumental setpieces and blockbuster action of the single player games.

The very first actual mission of Modern Warfare, Crew Expendable is a great example of this.  You raid a ship that is suspected of carrying weapons of mass destruction.  Halfway through the mission, MiGs come by to scuttle the ship, and you’ve got to escape a drastically different environment than the one you walked into.  It’s a simple change in the dynamic of the environment, but it makes a huge difference, and the game is much better for it.

I hate the fact that they’re all over so…SO quickly.

Early on, I learned the primary rule of writing:  Brevity is the essence of wit.  It’s true.  People are more likely to read and react to a block of text that’s just a couple of three or four sentence paragraphs than they are to a wall of text that logs over a thousand words.

Still, that doesn’t mean that you need a one liner to be witty, and MW2 and MW3 are very, VERY quick games.  MW2 was over so quickly that I felt personally ripped off…seriously, it was half a game.  You put MW2 and MW3 together in one game, and you’ve probably got one of the best shooters ever.  Critical acclaim, billion dollar sales, it’s all there.

Problem is that Infinity Ward wasn’t trying to make MW2 a great game, they were trying to satisfy the terms of their contract with Activision before moving over to EA once said contract was up.

Adding to the problem is the fact that Activision and it’s Supreme Leader, BeelzeBobby Kotick only care about the billion dollar sales…and as evidenced by the release of Elite, even THAT isn’t enough to satiate Satan’s desire for more of your money.

I love the fact that you can simply and quickly drop in and out of a game, and while a full round is only typically ten minutes, it’s packed with action, fun and if you’re good like me, a lot of kills.

Coming into CoD, the only FPS multiplayer that I’d logged more than 20 hours on was Killzone 2.  For those who don’t know, Killzone 2 online matches were often 90 minute affairs, most games were either 12 v 12 or 16 v 16, and they were filled with multiple and various objectives to accomplish throughout.  It was a slog…still fun, not arduous; that took time but also delivered a deeply satisfying online experience.

At first, I felt like CoD’s vaunted multiplayer was a rip off.  Every game was 6 on 6 until you unlocked Ground War, and even then it maxed out at 9 v 9.  Games were quick…maxing out at around 10 minutes.  There didn’t seem to be enough time to do anything, but once I got acclimated, it became refreshing.  Got 10 minutes??  Pop in CoD and merc about 20, 30 morons while you wait.

Brevity is the essence of wit, and while I’ll never have the feelings of awesomeness that I got when ripping through those epic 90 minute wars on Pyrrhus Rise, the ability to get in, get some kills and then get out is almost priceless and what it lacks in epicness, it makes up for in quick and simple fun.

I hate the fact that no matter how douchebaggy it is for people to look down their noses at CoD as a pick up and play Arcade n00bfest…that they’re pretty much right.

It was a shock to me when I first came into MW that people were using the Marathon and Lightweight perks to run around like a bunch of methed up polesmokers, knifing people in the back just because they weren’t good enough to pull out their weapon and fire true.

It felt cheap.  The first time I ran into an AC-130, I was PISSED.  It wasn’t like “Wow!!  How do I get one of those things??!”  It was more like:  ”Are you fucking kidding me?  Airborne artillery strikes?  How fucking cheap does this game get?”

And it was…it was cheap.  Cheap as hell.  But then I LEARNED…and I used the cheapness to my advantage…and it was AWESOME.  I put away the dual 1887s and substituted dual G18s.  I stopped using RPGs and Grenade Launchers to kill people 10 feet in front of me and took a more AR centric and tactical approach.

And it’s made me a better player than the aforementioned Mar+LW, camping, quickscoping, n00b tubing morons out there.  But they’re still out there, and they still get some of the less skilled of us cock-having folk who use our bullets and earn every kill.

CoD is a game that isn’t too difficult to pick up and learn and be decent at…but you DO need to hone your game if you want to be good at it.  CoD is the one game where n00bs and nametags don’t mind plugging away for days on end with a 0.73 KDR and a 10% Winning Percentage.

Battlefield and Skyrim fanboy may look down on the fact, they fail to realize that THAT is why CoD sold more games the first day than Battlefield sold in it’s first week because CoD appeals to that most hallowed…casual gamer demographic.  Scoreboard.

Again, I see where they’re coming from, but really…stop yourself and shut the fuck up.  You’re not better than Joe Sixpack who was thrilled just now to go 10-18 with no captures in that last round of Domination…and you’re certainly not better than me.

Moving on, I love the pacing of the games.  Remembering that since the original SOCOM, the only shooters I’d played online were Metal Gear Online and Killzone 2, the compact nature of the maps and consequentially the rapid fire nature of the combat is kind of a rush.  It carries itself off and it’s like a current…you have to keep up or drown.

That said, it really does nothing for me that I can only square a couple of hits of the kushdiesel in between rounds and can’t roll with the L hanging out of my mouth.  Not a dealbreaker, but goddamn…pause for the fuckin cause, IW.  Shiii.

Of course there’s the lag, the spawning, the ragequitters and the host migration issues that persist to this day…and yes, we all knew they’d be there when we picked up MW3…it doesn’t make those things any less annoying when they poke their heads out.

Of course, I have to hedge my mention of ragequitters, because if I’m in a game and I encounter an inordinate amount of lag or if I’m dropped into a game where my team’s getting clobbered like Lindsey Lohan’s vagina on a Friday night…you know, the score is 175 to 15 and every OP Killstreak you’ve ever wanted is active on your enemy’s side…yeah, I just up and leave those games.  Seriously what’s the fucking point??  Stay around and take a beating because you got dropped into the last minute of a Passion Of The Christ style beatdown?

Yeah, fuck that.  Call it ragequitting, thumb your nose, whatever.  I ain’t tryin’ to hear that jibber jabber.

But yeah, there’s so much shit to be thankful for and so much shit to be disdainful of.  I haven’t even really scratched the surface here, but the one thing I don’t want to become in life is that guy that’s got an exhaustive list he’s got to go through.

So bottom lining it, it’s a dichotomy…love/hate.

Okay this is going to be just a little quick hit.  Of course with the release of MW3 came the release of Call Of Duty Elite, which is CoD’s little social networking/stat tracking/clan building website.  Kind of like Killzone.com or Halo Waypoint…except for the fact that Activision wanted Elite to be a springboard for charging the CoD userbase a subscription fee on top of the $60 that we already paid for the game itself.

Faced with the fact that social networking alone was NOT going to get them the $50 extra per player that they want, Activision went ahead and offered all the upcoming DLC for MW3 as part of the Elite package, which as I understand it does offer legit savings.

Here’s my problem.  Elite costs as much for PS3 users as it does for 360 users, but PS3 users will STILL have to wait out the month of timed exclusivity that 360 users get before they can have access to the DLC.  What’s more is if you PAY for Elite, you can only use the DLC voucher for ONE system…regardless if you’ve got active PSN AND XBL accounts.

Now…I have a 360…and at last check I had CoD2, MW, MW2, BO and MW3 for the 360.  The thing is that I’m primarily a PS3 gamer.  There are legit reasons for that above and beyond “ZOMG, Sony >>> M$ FTW” that I won’t go into here, but the fact is that I’m a PS guy first…it is what it is.  Typically I buy all the DLC for both systems, but I’m not buying any this time around.

I wanted to get Elite…but why am I going to pay the same money that 360 guy is paying to STILL get my shit a month late?

Now I’m not one of those people who is completely ignorant in the ways of business; I understand that Activision and Microsoft have a contract regarding timed exclusivity and I’m sure there would be significant financial ramifications for Activision to offer DLC to PSN users during the period of negotiated timed exclusivity to XBL users…

…but that isn’t good enough for me as a consumer.

I’m not buying Elite and I’m not buying any MW3 DLC.  If Activision is ever able to modify their DLC agreement with M$ so that PSN users who subscribe to Elite can get access to DLC from the first moment it becomes available to XBL users, then I might change my mind.

But this is bullshit.  Sure…I’ll miss out this time around, but to be honest…MW3 isn’t that difficult.  I finish most games in the top 3 overall scoring, I almost always go positive, and I may not have a 2.0 KDR, but I also don’t camp on objective games trying to pad my stats when I should be trying to help my team win.

Fact is, I’m a very good CoD player, at least in the games I play in, (as I said) I’m usually top three.  It’s been that way since about a month into MW2, and it hasn’t really gotten any more challenging since then.

As such, I’m not even sure if I’m going to be motivated to boot up a CoD game again once SSX drops…

I mean, being good at something…or being better than most at something is pretty cool, but I’ve been doing this CoD thing for three or four years now.  It’s kinda like winning the Special Olympics.  Yeah, I won…but I’m still a retard.  XD

Just kidding…only douchebags look down on CoD vets just because they’re not playing Battlefield or Skyrim or whatever other gayass game that somehow makes those who play it better than those who play CoD…#getthefuckoveryourself

But yeah.  Fuck Elite.  If I can get the maps on PSN from the moment they’re available, then maybe I’ll think about picking it up.  But as long as timed exclusivity reigns over the DLC’s availability to PSN Elite subscribers, then buying Elite for either system will always be out of the question.

And to reflect somewhat in the words of Bobby Kotick, “…if they don’t do something about (this) soon, (I’ll) have to seriously evaluate weather or not I will continue to support (the CoD franchise) going forward.”

That’s right…fuck you Kotick, you horse fucking cock goblin.

I was going to do some dramatic buildup for this.  EA was my favorite PC game publisher and Activision was my favorite console game developer in the 80s.  I was going to talk Pitfall, The Bard’s Tale, I was going to envision a fight between John Riccitello and The Fucking Devil (we all know who he is)…it was going to be the shit.

But then I realized that like onions and Shrek, this conversation is going to have a lot of layers to it.

We’ll start by coming clean.  A couple of years ago, I was pissed that Activision was charging $14.99 for the Stimulus DLC package for MW2.  It was three new maps, two maps ported from Modern Warfare, and the price was about double what it should’ve been worth.  When it dropped, it sold like gangbusters…which served to disappoint my faith in the collective intelligence/fiscal responsibility of the gaming community.

There was also the fact that all CoD DLC releases a month earlier on Xbox Live than it does for PC or PS3, but that’s not an issue at all for me; Micro$oft paid dearly for that month…so give them their month already.

The subject of timed exclusivity is, however more fuel for the rabid Activision/360 haters/PS3 fanboys who were pissed like me about being overcharged for recycled content.

Of course…I (and apparently everyone else) eventually bought the Stimulus pack, so…I guess we see what happens to the so called “intellectually superior” among us.  :$

But today comes the news of EA’s impending release of the Back To Karkand DLC pack for its hugely popular military shooter Battlefield 3.  You can find the official blog post here, but I’ll go ahead with the particulars:

On Tuesday December 6th, Back To Karkand releases on the Playstation Network.

New weapons, unlockable through completing new assignment tasks, become available as well as six new Playstation Network Trophies.

Also included are the Wake Island, Sharqi Penninsula, Gulf Of Oman and Strike At Karkand multiplayer maps…which are some of the most played multiplayer maps of previous Battlefield games, complete with destructible environments.

On Tuesday December 13th, Back To Karkand releases for PC and Xbox Live for $14.99.

So…we have…weapons unlockable through assignments or some shit…and four maps…ALL OF THEM ports of previous BF games…released one freaking week early on PS3…for $14.99.

Really EA??  Really??  Are you fucking kidding me??

Look…I know I said I’d waive a blow by blow but fuck it.  EA did some massive trash talking leading up to Battlefield 3, and even though the console versions of the game simply weren’t capable of getting the attention and features that the PC version got, they were clearly looking to leverage Battlefield‘s PS3 following in a similar fashion to the way Activision leverages Call Of Duty‘s 360 following.

The problem is that Sony is not Micro$oft, and they are almost never the eager beaver to go paying developers for timed exclusivity.  Back when The Fucking Devil made the ludicrous claim that Activision might stop developing for the Playstation platform, he didn’t do it because of the PS3′s price, as has been said.  He did it because Sony wasn’t going to pay for timed exclusivity or additional DLC features.

Now, EA was thinking that they should develop the same relationship with Sony that Activision has with M$, but they forgot that Sony is still Sony and no matter how big your titties are, they’re not going to make it rain for you.

So first EA announced that the cult classic FPS Battlefield 1943 would be packaged with all PS3 copies.  For some reason, that fell through…which is something EA did not address until just prior to launch, when they announced that PS3 users would instead have early access to BF3 DLC…by a week.

A week?  A week?  You mean seven fucking days??

Seriously, EA??  Okay, regarding BF1943…it was a fuck up.  Fanboys raged and raged and EA found themselves in the unfortunate position of having to right a wrong.  They subsequently announced that they will release a download for BF1943 for all the PS3 users (at least the ones who bought BF3 new anyways)…but that doesn’t take the gaffe’s egg off of EA’s face.

But this one measley week of timed exclusivity??!?!?!

Seriously it’d be better if they didn’t do timed exclusivity at all.  In the grand scheme of things, one week isn’t going to matter to anyone.  Not to Sony, not to M$, not to Activision and not to EA…other than keeping their 360 userbase from giving them more money.

MW3 has a month of timed exclusivity…to even entertain the idea of one week of timed exclusivity for BF3 makes EA look like they’re reaching…on their tippie toes.

Seriously EA, timed exclusivity isn’t an issue.  The only time I play CoD on my Xbox Live account is when there’s new DLC…and I ONLY do that to learn the maps so that one month later, I will have an advantage over the PSN users who are only playing the maps for the first time.

My friends on PSN who play CoD online…even the die hards…those guys are not about to run out and get a 360 because of timed exclusivity.  It’s never even a factor in the conversation.

By giving PSN one week of DLC timed exclusivity, you’re not even fanning the flames of the fanboy v fanboy wars.  If anything, you’re humiliating the PS3 fanboys with your one freaking week of timed exclusivity…which they can only compare to 360 fanboys’ full month of CoD TE.  Talk about bringing a knife to a gunfight.

But that’s not even where EA fucked up the most.

FOUR freaking maps??!!  ALL OF THEM are ports of maps from previous games??!!  FOR FUCKING FOURTEEN NINETY FUCKING NINE???!?!!?!?!?!

Look…EA…I love you.  Since The Bard’s Tale and the first Madden game you guys released on Genesis…I’ve loved you.  I’m a beast on your NHL games.  SSX3 is my favorite game ever and I’ve prepurchased my copy of SSX which hits in February.  Seriously…I love you guys.  Which is why I hope you’ll take me seriously when I say:

WHAT.  THE.  FUCK.

Four recycled maps for $14.99.  I give a fuck about the new weapons…honestly if they’re not in the disc version of the game, then they’re not really worth having.

But seriously.  At least the Stimulus pack gave FIVE maps…THREE OF WHICH were brand new.  You’ve got FOUR maps…not a god fucking damn one of them unique to Battlefield 3…and you’re charging the full $14.99 for them.

I’ll be honest.  I haven’t bought CoD’s ELITE yet.  Not even sure if I will…for a couple of reasons which I will delve into another time…but I’ll buy ELITE before I buy BF3 and/or any of it’s DLC.

Check yourself, EA.  Don’t make promises that you can’t or won’t keep.  Don’t make it look like you’re reaching, even if you are.  For fuck’s sake, you’re FUCKING EA.  Despite the fact that MW3′s sales dwarf BF3′s sales, BF3 still sold a fucking shitton of video games in a crappy, crappy economy.

On top of that, EA has yearly powerhouse franchises like Madden and FIFA which sell millions of copies…on top of a litany of AAA franchises like Dead Space, SSX, Dragon Age, Need For Speed, Mass Effect, Skate and the freaking Sims.

You make yourselves look bad when you don’t have to.  BF3 is (from what I’ve heard and read) a very good, very popular game.  In trying to ingratiate yourself to PS3 users, you only managed to piss them off.  Yes, many are only too willing to rage against Activision and CoD…but if you want that crossover appeal, then relax.

You’ve already got it.  Go Madden Legends, take a tip from Barry Sanders and act like you’ve fucking been there before.