I remember when Resident Evil 4 launched for Gamecube…which is a console that I played, but never owned.  Reviewers everywhere lost their shit over the game, with the biggest praise being heaped onto the allegedly new controls that RE4 sported, as well as the fact that you weren’t fighting zombies again.

Ouch.

Well, the game got ported to PS2, and that’s when I found out the horrible truth.  The controls weren’t different at all, they just seemed different on the Gamecube’s ridiculous controller.  Also, Leon Kennedy wasn’t fighting “zombies,” but yeah…he was pretty much fighting zombies.

Spanish villagers infected with the Las Plagas disease in the game were pretty much zombies…only zombies that weren’t quite as slow or stupid as the zombies from previous RE games.  So yeah…RE4 wasn’t at all the departure that delusional reviewers would’ve had you believe…it was pretty much more of the same thing we’d been doing on PS1.

Which isn’t 100% bad…I have no problem with Resident Evil using zombies as pawns.  I do however hate the walking turret controls that are so awkward that they make Silent Hill look like Call Of Duty.

And of course I was MORE than facepalming at the fact that Resident Evil 5 was basically the same game, only set in Africa with an AI partner…but we’re not here to talk about that…we’re here to talk about…Resident…Evil…6.

Now you may be aware of the fact that RE:  Operation Raccoon City is one of the…well, I’ll be honest, it’s the only shooter I’m looking forward to in 2012…but that’s mainly because IT WILL PLAY LIKE A FUCKING SHOOTER.

Slant Six may have mangled SOCOM:  Confrontation when it first came out but by the time they’d issued a year’s worth of patches and fixed the damn thing, it was a goddamned serviceable military shooter.  So much so that the same morons who were begging Zipper Interactive to take the reigns for SOCOM 4 are now begging Slant Six to take back SOCOM 5.

…heh…like there’s even gonna be a fucking SOCOM 5.  #rolleyes

Anyhow, Slant Six came in and Operation Raccoon City looks like it will be a fun game…instead of an arduous game of hide the valve handle for the clock tower in the police station locker.

Shooter controls aren’t bad…Uncharted has them, GTA and Red Dead Redemption have them…kind of…but they’re a fluid way of maneuvering your playable character through hordes of enemies.  Walking while you aim and shoot…it’s kinda like indoor plumbing…once you achieve it, you’re not really sure what the fuck you were doing before the veil was pulled back; you’re only sure that it was fucking retarded.

So yay…more RE canon.  As a guy who enjoyed Code Veronica, let me just say…please…Capcom…please…fucking please please please…fix the fucking horrible RE controls BEFORE this hits the market.  PLEASE.

…fucking BEGGING you.