Okay so there’s like…a bajillion games that I took an active interest in, so I’m going to eschew my typical jibber jabber and bring my impressions by bullet points. Or at least I’m going to try to make it look like bullet points, anyways.

Killzone 3 – Looks as badass as ever, if not moreso. The Arctic/Oceanic environments look intense and the jetpack action looks fucking sweet…especially right after you ice a Hig in one. The WASP looks absolutely overpowered, shooting 9 missles at one target…I can’t wait to unleash THAT bitch online, either. With Arctic and Jungle environments, Killzone 3 looks to stuff its cock into the mouths of the whiney little fags who complained about Killzone 2’s color palette…lmao.

Seriously…when people are whining about the fucking color palette of a First Person Shooter named “KILLZONE”, you know they’re fucking gay.  KZ3 looks to shut those stupid hos up with a robust presentation of the visible color spectrum…just for you whiney fags who didn’t get enough fucking sunbeams and rainbows in the last one. First day buy…potential GotY.

Metal Gear Solid Rising – this game is going to cause some debate.  MGS fans are going to HATE the game’s apparent lack of stealth, and then there’s the fact that the game appears to center around Raiden.  Now, if you’ve played MGS4, then you know Raiden as a sword slingin, gravity defying, cyborg ninja badass extraordinaire who can cut bitches in half WHETHER OR NOT HE HAS ANY FUCKING ARMS…

…but if you’ve played MGS2, then you know Raiden is also a whiney little bitch with emotional baggage akin to that of Lindsey Lohan.

We’re all hoping that MGS2 Raiden is gone and never coming back.  And please God, do NOT include Rosemary or any fucking references to Raiden’s empty fucking bedroom.  Do Not…please…I’m begging you…just don’t.  Thank you very much.

Haterade for Raiden aside, MGSR is going to be walking a tightrope.  First of all, MGS has always been a stealth game, and while this game is sure to incorporate “some” sneaking, it’s clearly NOT a stealth game.  Secondly…Hack N Slash isn’t quite Konami or Kojima Productions’ bag, so we are treading virgin waters here.

Also…I’ve got all the Hack N Slash I need with God Of War III.  That along with the fact that Raiden is largely viewed as a second tier character in the MGS canon (and a fairly reviled one at that), this game is going to have to be damn near perfect to have relevance appropriate to the genre and the MGS franchise itself.

I’m not doubting that Kojima’s team can make it work…but I’m not quite drinking the Kool-Aid yet, either.

Little Big Planet 2 – Single player looks to get actual cutscenes as well as many different variables with regard to levels and modes of transport.  Likewise, Play Create Share gets the same bonuses, ensuring that users will be creating racers, shooters, and even horizontal scrolling shooters that hearken back to games like Space Invaders.

Oh and all the content out there for Little Big Planet works on LBP2, as well.  LBP and LBP2 will be Move compatible, so that should make the creation aspect of the game/working the Popit much smoother.  Not quite an urgent buy for me, but it’ll take some kind of catastrophe to prevent me from buying it eventually.

MotorStorm Apocalypse – I’m hoping that this game is more like the original and less like Pacific Rift.  Despite Monument Valley being an absolutely fucking EPIC setting for the original, the varied environments and Tropical Island theme of Pacific Rift were a nice change of pace.  Inclusion of split screen multiplayer was also quite the welcome addition.

Unfortunately, the game screwed up on two things that made the original so fucking awesome.  Bullet time, high detail, HD crash sequences and intuitive track design.  The crashes in PR looked like garbage in comparison, there wasn’t any of the flash involved in it and I found myself lost on tracks several times because of how obtuse their design was.  Got high hopes for this one…but again I’m not pre ordering yet.

inFAMOUS 2 – Never played through the first…didn’t really fall in love with the demo…I may or may not rent it before this drops, but this game will not in any way be a priority for me.  Of course, I’m on record with my opinion that the whole Sandbox Open World thing has been tired and beaten down for a few years now…perhaps inFAMOUS or inFAMOUS 2 is/will be the Tetanus Shot that the genre needs…

…fucking Christ knows that GTA IV wasn’t.

Crysis 2 – Ummmm…FAIL??  Seriously…I d/l’d the trailer on PSN expecting to see the most amazing graphics since Uncharted 2.  What I got was a game that looks like a cross between Gears Of War 3 and Battlefield Bad Company 2.  Don’t get me wrong, those games look great, but for all the shit I’ve heard talked about the CRYTEK engine – I was left wanting more.

The game itself looks badass as hell…but the problem lies in the fact that so does Killzone, Bulletstorm, Spec Ops The Line, SOCOM, Gears and Halo.  As a family man on a budget during a Global Recession, Crysis 2 is looking like something I’m going to have to pass on.

Sorcery – So SCEA revealed Sorcery…a game developed exclusively for the Playstation Move…and yeah – this thing totally looks like a gimmick game.  It drew hoots and hollers from the Shrine Audience but frankly the graphics didn’t look great, the animations themselves were far too cartoony for this Tolkien fanboy’s tastes and the game itself looked like a Harry Potter rip off.

In the end, this game may turn out to be the coolest thing since sliced bread, but from what I saw at E3 it looks like Shovelware.  Oh and the use of the words “Fairy World” was cringe inducing.  Please fix that…thanks.

The Sly Collection – Fanboys rejoice to celebrate Sucker Punch’s previous generation darling platformer upscaled and remastered in HD for the PS3…but honestly I’d have rather seen the ICO Collection.

The ICO Collection – wasn’t there.  Baby Jesus wants to cry.

The Last Guardian – WASN’T.  FUCKING.  THERE.  WHAT.  THE.  FUCK?  Yeah, yeah…I heard…Tokyo Game Show for The Last Guardian.  Look…the only acceptable reason why The Last Guardian wasn’t at E3 would be because Fumito Ueda and his team are too busy helping Bluepoint port Ico and Shadow Of The Colossus over to PS3 for The ICO Collection.

Everything else is just useless jibber jabber.  Sony REALLY dropped the ball by not even having a trailer of The Last Guardian at E3.

SOCOM 4 - Uhhh…SOCOM 4’s only mention was as part of a list of games that will be Move compatible upon launch.  Yeah…uhh…I found that out a while back at GDC.  No new trailer?  No news on single player, co-op, leaning, UCRRs, tiebreakers and clan ladders?  How about the game…will it actually work??

Will there be single player??  Will SOCOM go for that blockbuster Hollywood bullshit that MW and BFBC have been churning out, or will Zipper keep it Hardcore and come with the low key yet ultra realistic Black Ops nature of the first two games?

Yeah…given how integral SOCOM has been and continues to be for the Sony Playstation brand, despite how badly fucking botched SOCOM: Confrontation was, I would’ve liked a little bit more than “SOCOM 4 will be Move compatible.”  Something along the lines of: “SOCOM will be fucking awesome again, we promise” would’ve been nice.

And I’m out of time again…more to come tomorrow or Friday about the two suprises at the end of Sony’s conference and any of the other shit that’s popped up since then.  Chuuuuch.